I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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