next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
