Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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