No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
