so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
