Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
