so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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