4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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