I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I touched a dick in church today
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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