you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
