I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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