okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
