"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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