He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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