I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
