Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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