oh god the rape fog is back!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Less talking, more tequila
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
