Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
