I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
