the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
