The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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