Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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