Quick, to the slutcave!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
