ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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