I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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