If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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