She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
