When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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