every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
