Got a toothbrush?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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