last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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