...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
