why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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