Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
