dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
