Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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