you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
