No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
