office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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