I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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