Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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