I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
