everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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