If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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