Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
