dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
