oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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