just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
