i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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