I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
